Does anybody else force themselves to stay awake even when they're really tired? I just did that... well, I do that a lot. Especially when school rolls around and it's the weekend. Like, I only have so much time to myself that if I don't cram as much activity into these next 48 hours I'll just DIE!
It's frustrating. I looked it up on Google and I've seen some people call it "revenge sleep procrastination". They say the revenge is against whatever is limiting your free time (work, school etc) but I think in my case it's revenge against myself. I didn't draw all day so I need to draw something and spend a lot of time on it even though it's 11 PM and I'll just end up hating it anyways. But I need to finish it because if I don't... idk. It's stupid and I know I have the power to just say fuck it and go to bed but I guess my self loathing is just that strong.
I have no actual problem sleeping, like I sleep just fine, but I just hate the idea of spending time doing NOTHING (ie sleeping) when I could be doing something productive. Except when I force myself to stay up I never do anything actually productive like cleaning or whatever, so... UGH. I hate it. I'm constantly arguing with my idiot brain, like, come on man cut me some slack!! Why don't you want the best for me! Cuz I know that staying up isn't good but here I am...
Limp Bizkit was right. It's just one of those days!!