Lately I've noticed my anxiety towards showing my friends art that I'm proud of has gotten WORSE?!! Like doodles are fine, but the thought of sending them full art pieces that I spent actual time on gets me all frozen up. What's with that? I know these guys, and they're nice, so I shouldn't have a problem... BUT I DO.

Like right now there's a cool pic I finished, but it's been 2 hours now and I'm still too nervous to post it. Like, I SHOULD post it, I think my friends would like it, but I can't. There's this little voice in my head that says my art is stupid, nobody cares except me and they're just humoring me, all sorts of evil mean things that aren't true but what if they ARE even though I know they aren't. It's frustrating.

Like, when I post art to Tumblr I'm fine with that, I post it and go! I don't have to see people's reactions, and if they like it then that's just a bonus. But sharing with friends is like, okay they're gonna say something but I don't know what, which scares me, but if they don't say anything that scares me too. Then if they compliment me I feel super embarrassed! I hate and love attention at the same time, and I know it's because I'm super self conscious but I want to move past this.

So, what should I do? Do I just face it head-on, post the art then close out of the tab really fast and distract myself? Or do I not post it at all? I read that art can be a really personal and vulnerable thing, and if there's one thing about me it's that I have comically bad issues with being vulnerable with friends. That's why I dump all this shit onto a public blog for strangers :P But I guess the only way to get over your fears is to face them, or maybe go through lots of therapy but it's 6 AM and I don't even have a therapist anyways.

OKAY. I'VE DONE IT... That wasn't so bad except yes it was. But it was a start, and you know... baby steps and whatever.