Happy pride month! Tonight I had the first nightmare in years to actually scare me.

In the dream I was falling asleep on my back, exactly how I was sleeping irl. The whole dream felt pretty realistic, almost in a lucid dreaming way. Whenever I try to sleep I was thinking of OC scenarios, but in the dream I couldn't stop thinking about scary things that would interrupt the scenario. I tried to go back to normal thoughts but I just couldn't, and I started getting really freaked out.

At that point I thought "Oh you know what, I never actually fall asleep on my back, so I'll just switch positions" and tried to lay on my side but I couldn't move. I had sleep paralysis. I didn't want to open my eyes, I just wanted to wake myself up but nothing was working.

Then I realized that my entire body felt fuzzy, like when your leg falls asleep, and I could tell that I actually COULD move around a little bit, I just couldn't wake up. I was asleep and also not at the same time... hard to explain.

I heard my mom wake up and go into the kitchen and immediatly start bitching about something (she does that a lot IRL lol), calling me names and just being really mad about everything. I was yelling and screaming for her to help me wake up, but it felt like I was talking into a pillow.

Then I woke up for real and realized I'd only slept for an hour. Starting the month off with a bang.